


Hot IPad Time Machine

by ErinC0re



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Cute Kids, F/F, F/M, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Multi, Slow To Update, Time Travel, butters/charlotte mentioned, damien/pip mentioned, dont at me, kyle/bebe mentioned
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-08
Updated: 2019-11-22
Packaged: 2020-11-27 07:57:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20944967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErinC0re/pseuds/ErinC0re
Summary: In attempt to avoid an English test on To Kill A Mockingbird the boys (Stan, Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny) go to the future where it turns out they all got married and now have to be adults... (This fic contains a lot of Tweek/Craig btw so if that's not your shit you might want to back off)





	1. Chapter 0: A short prologue so we can get to the good stuff

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so I wanted to write a fic about Tweek and Craig having two kids and just being adorable but then I decided might as well through in a funky plot so here ya' go. This is my first fic so don't judge me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, so I wanted to write a fic with all the boys settled down, especially Tweek and Craig... CREEK IS MY SHIT. This is my first fic so don't judge also I'm in college so updates are gonna be slow my dudes.

They had a test in third period, on some book that no kid wanted to read but the school system required, and no one was looking forward to it. The bell rang and the boys, Kenny, Stan, and Kyle, left the class looking forward to recess but dreading what came after. Outside they found Cartman who held his tablet close and rushed up to them, “guys, I found a way we won’t have to take the test anymore.” Kenny mumbled for him to continue, “it’s a spell to open up a portal to the future… if we’re in the future we won’t have to take the quiz. I’m a genius!”  
Kyle rolled his eyes, “not everything you find on the internet is true fatass, what if it doesn’t work? Then we’ll still have to take the quiz.”  
Cartman rolled his eyes, “shut up Kah-el, this spell has to work because I paid ten bucks for it. So now everyone get in a circle so we can read this.”  
Kenny did as told and started by standing next to Cartman while Stan stood on his opposite, “come on Kyle, so what if it doesn’t work there’s no harm in at least trying.”  
Kyle sighed, Stan was right, if they did or didn’t do this stupid circle, they would probably be taking the test, so he stood beside Stan and tried to ignore how stupid they looked. For a minute everything stayed the same and Kyle was about to shout I told you so, but Eric’s tablet soon started glowing purple and that was the last thing they got to see.


	2. Chapter One: We’re Not in Elementary School Anymore Toto

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's get this party started I wanna see my gay bois.

When Kyle blinked, he stood at a copy machine printing what seemed to be the exact test he was trying to get out of taking… how ironic is that? Though copy machines usually aren’t that short compared to him. He looked down at it and caught as glimpse of himself. He definitely was taller, and his clothing had changed as well instead of his old jacket and green pants he wore brown slacks with a forest green sweater and green plaid shirt underneath it. Feeling something slide on his nose he noticed he wore glasses with dark burnt orange frames. It took a minute to process what was happening but once he understood he swore… holy shit, Cartman really did it. It was so weird to look at himself and he almost panicked if his phone didn’t start buzzing with Stan’s name and a picture of him and who he assumed was Stan dressed in beach wear showed up. “Dude, the spell actually worked, I just woke up in a king bed I’ve never seen before and I’m like six foot. My hair looks like ass and I think future me has a drinking problem like my dad did because I woke up with a bottle right next to my head and a note from Wendy. I married Wendy dude, I knew we are perfect for each other how many people get to say they married there elementary school sweetheart.”

Kyle listened and rolled his eyes, “nice to know you got the day off, I’m in the copy room right now at South Park Elementary printing out the same English test we were trying to avoid, how nuts is that?” Before Kyle could continue a man walked through the door. He was tall probably six four and had a very well built body by how his white tee was clinging to him, not to tight but definitely showed off this guy worked out. His black hair was pretty average and his facial hair was well kept (I think it’s called an anchor style beard but like im not certain). His skin was olive tinted tan and his eyes were a bright green. He wore a blue jacket with a NASA patch and some other patches as well as a white shirt and dark blue jeans.. The man turned to see him in the window and gave him a two-finger salute before walking up to the women sitting at the front desk. Kyle could barely hear what he was saying, something about his son and the principal. He just gave a quick nod before leisurely walking to the back. “I think I just saw Craig dude; he’s fucking giant, I’m talking like at least six four. Apparently, his son is a troublemaker like him and is in the principal’s office. Sucks to suck, I guess.”

Stan let out a loud laugh, “wonder who married him, probably met a girl for a one-nighter and got left with the kid.”

“Maybe I haven’t seen a mom come in yet, imagine being a single dad that sounds pretty tough dude, if I knew how to parent, I’d offer my help you know.” Kyle explained.

Stan just let out an affirmative hum and started on the next topic, “I’ve been searching the house for clues on future me ya’ know? Turns out I’m a Veterinarian and Wendy and I have twins. There like ten dude, that means we’re old as fuck now.”

“Wow, you’re a dad, jeez now I wonder if I have a kid? God that is the weirdest thing I’ve said all day…” just as he finished saying that a blonde man rushed in and started shouting.

“What happened, is everyone okay?” he was shorter than Craig and Kyle are now and his blonde hair seemed to be held back by a few pins though it was far from tame. The guy must have rushed here from work as he still wore an apron over his green shirt and khakis. His eyes were the feature that standed out the most, he had heterochromia with blue on the top and green on the bottom of both of his eyes.

The receptionist pointed to the back and he rushed away from her after a quick thanks. “Dude, I think Craig married Tweek turns out you aren’t the only one who married their elementary school sweetheart. He seems to be less twitchy at least even if he was just shouting.”

“Dude I can’t believe Craig is actually gay he had a girlfriend last year; I mean sure they broke up but many relationships fail. What’s going on that has got him all crazy anyway?”

“I think his son got injured, probably in a fight knowing Craig’s genetics, and Tweek is like all mama bear trying to make sure that their son is safe.”

Stan didn’t respond for a moment and then rushed a quick goodbye, “gotta go dude, Wendy is home,” and hung up.

Kyle rolled his eyes and searched through his phone while the machine was finishing. He didn’t see any photos of a women on his phone that wasn’t next to a different guy. He also got a glimpse of a kid maybe in their teens with short curly ginger hair and figured out he had a son… though as the photos continued, he saw who he was sure was the same kid dressed in a dress with pins in their hair. Did he have twins also? Decided maybe Facebook would help and after reading a few statuses noted that no, he only had one kid and said kid was trans. Also, turns out he is a single parent as his relationship status read: Single. The copies were done when an older version of PC Principal walked in the room, he looked the exact same except some grays had started to form. He placed a file on the front desk and started chatting to the women in front of him before turning and starting towards Kyle once he saw him, “Sup Broslofski, heard you were the one that broke up the fight, you chill coming into the office to help me sort this out. Mr. Tucker is apparently super pissed to the point I got out of a meeting early. Fine by me am I right, no one wants to sit and listen to Mackey explain why the school needs a better technology system. The computer lab already has Macs I think we are doing pretty fine on that am I right.”

Kyle nodded lost on what to do, “oh… of course…sir, I’ll just leave the papers here guess.”

PC Principal just turned and headed to the office with Kyle in tow… god he hopes he doesn’t have to speak much he has no clue what happened in this fight only that it involved Craig and Tweek’s son. He didn’t know who to be more scared about Craig could probably kill him with one glare if he wanted to but Tweek had this hidden rage in him that could send even the strongest armies running. He had seen it before, back when they played Stick of Truth and Tweek was a barbarian. It was terrifying to see the twitchy kid go to a straight up pissed off warrior, it was as if a switch had flipped. Inside the office sat Mrs. Strong Woman and she was trying to explain to them what had happened. Apparently, their son wouldn’t talk to anyone and some girl named Emma had locked herself in one of the stalls and she was crying her head off. Tweek seemed to be tapping his foot as he listened watching for Craig’s face to change at all. After a moment of silence Tweek turned to their son with a sigh and cupped his cheek softly. “I know you don’t wanna speak but if we are going to get somewhere you need to tell me what happened? Can you do that for me Hunter?”

Hunter stern face broke down at his fathers words and started tearing up, “Eddy was being mean to Emma by calling you guys bad things so I told him to knock it off but he punched me so I hit him back and tried to run but he grabbed my shirt so I couldn’t get loose so I hit and kicked him until he let go and then ran to Mr. Brofloski’s room.”

Tweek held the boy to his chest and pet his hair as he cried. Mrs. Strong Woman nodded, “we still have to give you detention for getting into the fight in the first place, Eddy has a black eye and more bruises. Fighting shouldn’t be tolerable at this school.”

“Detention, for defending himself?” Craig spoke up it was his usual monotone voice but something in it sent a chill down Kyle’s spine.

“I’m afraid so, Eddy will be getting the same treatment as well. One-week detention.” She explained.

Tweek flipped at this, “One week?! For defending himself and his sister, that’s not right what could he have done to avoid this get beat up by some fat kid that thinks he’s all that because his daddy is the CEO of a failing newspaper company.”

“I’m sorry Mr. Tweak but we have to make sure that we punish students for bad behavior.” Strong women replied.

“Oh no,” Craig let out before covering Hunter’s ears.

“What did you just call me? Don’t you dare call me that my last name is Tucker! Bad enough I had to grow up with my parent’s I don’t ever want to be associated with them again. I am not a Tweak those were drug dealing manipulative assholes!”

“Craig let go of Hunter’s ears to grab Tweek’s hand, “it was a mistake sweetheart, just breathe, there gone now remember… you never have to see them again.”

Noticing Hunter looking up at him worried Tweek seemed to stop and take a deep breath, “you’re right I’m sorry Hunter, daddy is just very upset about what his parents did.” He turned to face Mrs. Strong Woman, “are you telling me that my son is being punished wrongly, this isn’t punishing bad behavior it’s punishing my son for self-defense. Do you know how hard it is to run away when someone has your shirt in there hand especially if that kid is a grade older?! The only bad behavior was Eddy, he was being homophobic to a five-year-old girl who doesn’t even know what that word means.”

“I apologize Mr. Tucker but I’m not changing my decision.” She said and closed the file on her desk.

“Where is the principal, I want to speak with the principal?” Tweek said in a deadly tone.

“Babe maybe you should calm down a bit,” Craig tried but Tweek shot daggers at him with his eyes, “or not get it out, tell the world what you need to.”

“Mr. Tucker and Mr. Tucker, I apologize for what has happened but the system states that we have to punish bad behavior.” PC Principal jumped in.

Tweek turned to him with eyes that screamed murder, “bad behavior? Bad behavior is homophobia, is being mean to my daughter and hitting my son only because he has two fathers. What happened to this school I remember when it was a safe space, but now my son can’t even go on the playground without having to defend himself. I should have home schooled them; this place is too dangerous for LGBT members to raise their kids. I’ll have to tell the other couples to watch out for this hopefully little Nathan never has to go through this experience.” Tweek started getting louder towards the end.

At the mention of this not being a safe space PC Principal seemed to change his mind, “Wow, this school is totally safe for LGBT okay, you’re totally right that self defense is required sometimes and this is a valid case for when it is. No need to spread word of this we have it all sorted out. I apologize for the misunderstanding and we’ll only give Eddy detention.”

Tweek smiled at that, “thank you PC Principal, now if you don’t mind I’d like to check my kids out for the day. I think it’s best to have family time after what happened.”

“That’s completely understood, I’ll have Leslie check them out right now.” PC Principal opened the door and shouted, “LESLIE, Check out Emma and Hunter Tucker for the day please. Thank you!”

“Mrs. Woman we have our next meeting in ten minutes, do you want to walk with me there?”

Mrs. Strong Woman debated it but finally got up to leave the room with him leaving Kyle in a room with Tweek, Craig, and their son Hunter. Hunter was a cute kid, his skin was pale, he had black hair and grey eyes. He dressed like Craig did as a kid almost with a blue sweatshirt and his chullo hat. Tweek turned to Kyle and smiled, “thank you for being there for him, I’m sorry I got kind of out of hand but you know how it is. Dealing with the Cartman’s is nearly impossible without making things worse. At least Heidi is sensible and can knock some sense into Eric. Which reminds me I have lunch with the Heidi and Bebe tomorrow, you wanna tag along I know you don’t hang much with the other guys after what Cartman said about Charlie. Which, by the way, I made sure Heidi gave him blue balls for a month for. That jerk doesn’t deserve a girl like that she’s too good for him.”

Kyle took in the knowledge as he spoke, so he doesn’t hang out with Cartman much anymore because he said something about his kid… at least he snapped eventually. “It was no problem dude,” especially because he doesn’t even remember doing anything to help, “yeah Cartman is kind of an ass but whatever life goes on. Also, I’ll think about the offer, don’t really know what I’m doing tomorrow.”

Craig smirked and was about to say something when a little bleach blonde girl in a mint green dress ran into the room. “DADDY!!!” Tweek bent down with a wide smile on his face to catch her.

“Oh my sweet little Emma, did Eddy hurt your feelings?” He hugged the girl to his chest.

The girl nodded and started rubbing her eyes like she was about to cry, “why is he so mean to you two? I don’t like it; I think he’s jelly because his mommy and daddy fight a lot and my daddies are perfect.”

Craig rolled his eyes, “I don’t know if we’re perfect princess, Daddy and I fight too sometimes.”

“Yeah but my daddies only fight for a little bit and then they make up. They kiss it all better and say sorry.” She reached for Craig who took her in his arms. “Do you think that’s what Mr. Eric needs to do, just tell Mrs. Heidi he’s sorry and kiss it better?”

“Maybe princess but let’s not get in their business okay?” Craig held his daughter on hip before looking at Hunter, “you okay little man?”

Hunter shrugged, “can we go home now? I’m tired of school…”

Tweek smiled sadly at him and nodded, “of course Hunter, I’ll make us lunch and we can watch red racer as long as you want.”

Hunter smiled at that and grabbed Tweek’s hand, “Thanks dude we’ll see you for game day this Sunday…” Craig said as they walked out the door.

So, he had plans on Sunday, what even was today? Oh god he needed to figure out a lot of things, so he didn’t look stupid.


	3. Throwback Thursday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So if the boys from the past are in the future... then it only makes sense if the guys from the future go to the past. Please remember that this fics main ship is creek so if you no likey you no buyey (or read).

All four of the boys stared at each other in disbelief, Kyle was the first to snap, “what did you do fatass, how are we explain to our kids that we are there age just go up to them and be like sorry kids your dads are now mini sized.”

“Look our kids aren’t even around so stop flipping your shit we’ll get out of this and then head back. What’s the rush to busy buying your daughter tampons to take a break from being a dad.” Eric spat back.

“Don’t you dare talk about Charlie like that I’ll kick your ass.” Kyle started rolling up his sleeves when Stan laid a hand on his arm.

“Dude, we all need to calm down we knew this day would come now we just have to find a way back.” Stan reasoned.

Kenny was still staring at the jacket he was wearing like it was a monster, he hadn’t worn something this scratchy in years especially not after getting his job in auto repairs. He took the hood off and scratched his head, “dude I hate this jacket, why couldn’t our normal clothes go with us.”

All of them seemed to pause at that and take in their outfits, god did their parents really have to dress them with no style at all. I guess they were just boys at the time and didn’t really care for clothing, but Kenny had a point-- their old outfits sucked. Kyle touched his face and smiled he didn’t have glasses on, he missed this, not having to wear those stupid bulky lenses everywhere. They were Cartman’s fault a side effect of following him on some stupid journey in high school that left him practically blind. “Shit I just thought of how pissed Wendy is. I don’t think kid me even knows what divorce is, now he is going to be going through one. Why couldn’t he wait a month?”

Kyle shrugged and threw his arm over his shoulder, “we’ll at least you’ll have me there.”

“God, why don’t you two get a room already?” Cartman exclaimed and rolled his eyes.

Kyle blushed and pulled his arm away while Stan stared at him like he was going to murder him. “Oh, shut up Eric, you’re just jealous that Kyle refused to have sex with you back in college, I still have the video on my phone of you being all pouty and desperate. You’re a friggin’ closet case get over yourself asshat.” Kenny interjected.

Stan laughed and Kyle smirked, that video was pretty funny, seeing Eric cry about it and how everyone turned on him for being so gross to Kyle made the whole thing way better. “Can’t believe you kept that man, send me a copy, I lost mine when I replaced my phone,” Stan interjected.

“Come on guys, tell me you all haven’t fantasized about his ass, just once, plus his hair was so long in college he was practically a girl from behind.” Cartman tried to fight back.

Kenny winked and explained, “oh trust me, everyone has ideas about what they want to do with that fine ass. Me and Stan are lucky that we got a piece and you didn’t.”

Kyle blushed and tried to interject, “it was high school Kenny, one time, we were both heart broken so don’t act like you’re the biggest player in South Park because Bebe and I broke up and I needed a distraction.”

Kenny put his hand over his heart and said in a mocking tone, “a distraction is that all I am to you?”

Kyle punched him in the arm and Kenny laughed while rubbing what was probably a bruise. Cartman smirked as he noticed something, he didn’t say he hadn’t slept with Stan. “Dude you and Stan slept together; I friggin’ knew it. I can just picture you being a total cock-slut Kyle, probably all desperate for it.”

“Shut up Cartman you’re just jealous that the only person willing to touch your dick is Heidi and she made you get tested three times before she even gave you a hand job… really shows you how much people think you’re probably diseased.” Kyle argued.

Stan laughed and put his hand around Kyle’s waist, “Kenny is right though you do have a really nice ass, Cartman should be jealous.”

Kyle swatted his hand away and crossed his arms, “can we change the subject, I want to get home to my kid already?”

Kenny agreed that they should probably try and find a way home, so he picked up and looked at the tablet Cartman had dropped. “It looks like Latin dudes, maybe we should see what google translate says it says.”

They went down the halls to the computer lab and researched all they could on the spell… it wasn’t Latin and finding a translation was impossible. They spent all of recess and were frustrated. “Gah, shit, now we have to go to class… wasn’t this that stupid test on Moby Dick or some shit?” Cartman exclaimed.

“It’s on To Kill a Mockingbird and it’s not that hard, just blab about the bird representing unfairly killing innocents and you’ll pass,” Kyle said as he signed off the computer.

Kenny smirked, “you know I still haven’t read that book, it just never hit my list of books to read.”

“All you read is Playboy and shitty romance novels,” Kyle spit back. “it’s actually a really good book and is important for teaching about history and how racism was in America.”

As they walked into the class, they noticed everyone on there phones panic studying SparkNotes the only ones not flipping out are Wendy and Token which isn’t a surprise. Those two always did their homework and got straight A’s. sitting at there desks Cartman scooted closer to him so he could peek at what Kyle would answer. A female teacher stood at the front with a copy of the book in hand, “this test is a very important part of your grade so to make sure no cheating is involved we are going to be splitting you into two groups the first group will take the test with Mr. Garrison and the rest will stay with me. If I call your name stand up and line up at the door. Tweek Tweak, Token Black, Bebe Steven, Craig Tucker, Kevin Stoley, Heidi Turner Wendy Testaburger, Clyde Donnavan, Timmy Burch, and Kyle Brofloski.” 

Cartman slammed his hands on the desk, shit… he was so gonna flunk, “can I go with them??”

“No Eric, now stay seated, Mr. Garrison will be here shortly to pick up these students, are there any last-minute questions?” The teacher said calmly.

No one responded and so they all sat in silence waiting for Mr. Garrison to be there. The test was awful thirty minutes of guessing C while bullshitting something about the how stereotypes are portrayed and how symbolism was important. Mr. Garrison’s classroom seemed to finish quickly which lead to them all getting there grades back before the other class announced they were done. Not very surprising, most of the student’s got A’s only Clyde got a F since he refused to read it. When they were given their grades and could talk Clyde went up to Tweek and asked how he got an A. “Craig and I came up with this cool studying system. We made it a competition to see who could finish it first. I won because I don’t really sleep much, and we totally quizzed each other about it yesterday to make sure we’d pass. It’s like ten percent of our grade no way I could fail it… too much pressure.” Tweek finished his rant then took a huge gulp from his silver thermos.

“Man, this sucks how am I going to explain to my dad that I have a bad grade now?” Clyde said looking like he was about to cry.

Craig walked over to them and put his hand in Tweek’s, “don’t know man, maybe you and Token could study together next time. Having a study buddy makes it more doable than forcing yourself to do it alone.”

“Yeah, I hope I can retake it if I ask really nicely.” Clyde sighed and put his test in his bag. “So, what are you two doing this afternoon?”

“I don’t know, probably head to my house and watch Red Racer… the new episode comes out tonight and I’m excited we finally get to see where Blue Racer hid Red Racer’s wife. I think she’s in the warehouse where they keep old cars but Tweek thinks she’s hidden under the stadium seats. Which doesn’t make sense isn’t that stuff like solid concrete?” Craig went on about his favorite show. Tweek just stood there listening while drinking his coffee even after Clyde walked off while Craig seemed too preoccupied with his story to notice. When he finished, he faced Tweek who could tell that he was happy, even if he didn’t smile his eyes always seemed to be a bit more open when he was happy. “What do you think babe, does heading over to my place sound cool?”

Tweek smiled back at him, “sure Craig, but only for a little bit; we promised to go to Token’s game tonight with Clyde.”

Craig seemed fine with that and they headed out the door. Outside the class they could see Cartman and the rest of that group all grumpy. They probably didn’t study like their group had… well except Clyde but still. Cartman probably planned on cheating, poor Kyle, he sat right in front of him, he’s probably to only reason the fatty was passing. Kenny looked towards Craig and Tweek when he noticed something… Tweek still had that thermos, he was still drinking coffee. Kenny frowned at that and mumbled to Stan, “it’s not right, I’m gonna tell him what’s in it.”

Stan grabbed his arm, “nah dude we can’t fuck up the past like that just let him chug the stuff he drops it soon anyway right?”

Kenny tried thinking back, he honestly doesn’t remember seeing Tweek give up coffee all he remembered was that sometime in the fourth grade he went cold turkey. Kenny just shook his head, “it’s not right dude, think about it, that shit is what makes him all twitchy if we know we should help him.”

Stan just rolled his eyes as he left, he should find Kyle being alone stuck in a moody kid body sucked ass and at least his super best friend would make it a bit better. It wasn’t hard to find him as he was already approaching him. “Hey dude, how’d the test go?”

“I got a B, probably because you talk about the book so much,” Stan answered nonchalantly.

“It’s a really good book I don’t understand why so many students find it annoying, I wish they taught it to an older generation though, the book mentions rape and other bad stuff which fourth graders shouldn’t know about.” Kyle defended.

Stan just smirked, “should we stop Kenny from telling Tweek, I think he’s just going to shove it off as us being assholes and playing with them but I don’t know Tweek can get paranoid over the stupidest things.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, “yeah but just because I don’t want Kenny to reveal too much ya’ know. Tweek goes through a lot of shit in his lifetime.”

Stan smirks, “at least he got a nice piece of ass to help him through it.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, “dude, gross, that’s like his husband you can’t go all flirty on his husband especially while you’re still married.”

Stan frowned at that, “do you think I should regret marrying Wendy, I mean, she’s beautiful and smart but we just fail every time we try to be in love. I love her ya’ know, I’ll always love her I just don’t think we were ever in love… not really?”

Kyle put his arm over his shoulder, “I think you two just aren’t soulmates… you two don’t have anything in common and it always ends up with you hurting. I’m sick of you getting hurt, I just wish I told you sooner that this wasn’t right. Then maybe the twins wouldn’t be so confused why their parents don’t act like the others do.”

Stan grabbed him into a hug and started crying, “oh god, the twins, what are we going to do, what if she takes the twins, I can’t lose them, I love them so much.”

Kyle pulled him back and looked him in the eyes, “you aren’t losing the twins, I’ll make sure of that, lucky for you, you have one of South Parks Finest Lawyers. I’ll defend your case to no end dude and make sure you get split custody.”

Stan smiled as he wiped his nose on his sleeve, “thanks man.”

Kyle punched his shoulder jokingly, “no problem, now let’s go make sure Kenny hasn’t fucked up already.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kenny walked straight up to Craig and Tweek and stated straight forwardly, “you shouldn’t drink that stuff man, it’s bad for you plus I’m pretty sure your parents put meth or crack in it.”

Tweek clung to his thermos, “wha-what??? No they like use organic beans and some sugar or something, they wouldn’t use drugs that wouldbedangerous. Oh god drugs can kill you, what if the do put meth in it? oh jeez, Ack!” Tweek grabbed onto his hair while one still held the thermos for dear life.

Craig just rolled his eyes and grabbed the hand in his hair, “they are just messing with you babe, your parents aren’t that crazy, all the adults in town drink that stuff.”

Kenny put a hand on his hip, “then how do you explain the secret ingredient, they get it form the meth house my parents are renting to a bunch of crackheads. I can prove it if you don’t believe me.”

Kyle and Stan stepped up then, “shit, we’re too late.” Kyle smacked Kenny’s arm, “dude, you can’t just be straight forward with Tweek, what if he has a panic attack or something?”

Stan just stood there looking at Tweek, it was weird he hasn’t been this twitchy in so long it almost seems like a different person is in front of them. “Prove it.”

Kyle stuttered, “wha-what?”

Craig glared at them, “you say there are drugs in the coffee… prove it.”

Kenny smiled, “easy man, Mr. Tweak goes to pick up the secret ingredient every Friday afternoon around four… if we hurry we can catch him,” then Kenny started walking towards the entrance and the other boys followed.

Tweek clung to Craig, he was freaking out… no way his parents would drug him, he’s been drinking coffee his whole life, like they put it in his bottles as a baby and oh god, was he a crack baby then. He felt bad for those babies that Cartman made play Crack Ball or whatever it was called, jeez did some guy try and make him play it as a baby, what if he sucked at it? Oh god, maybe that’s why his father threatens to sell him to slavery, maybe it wasn’t the first time he has sold him. But his parents loved him right? He thinks they do but his parents are really weird, his dad speaks in metaphors and tells him stories that go nowhere and his mom just goes along with whatever his father says. What if they are planning on killing, trying to make him addicted only to take it away so he dies from withdrawal… oh jeez, can you die from withdrawal? “Honey, calm down, Stan’s group probably are just playing us. Let’s just go along and if they pull something we can kick their ass…”

Tweek nodded, “but what if they’re right, what if my parent’s do lace the coffee with meth, or crack, or ack, oh jesus, what if it’s a mix of the two?!”

Craig squeezed his hand, “then I’ll help you get off the stuff and we can find a way to make sure you don’t intake it every again.”

Tweek paused at that, “if there are drugs in my system… what if I’m addicted, withdrawal sounds terrifying?”

Craig stopped and turned to him, “then I’ll be there to help you through it all, you’ll get through this. You’re stronger than you think.”

Tweek blushed, “thanks Craig.”

Craig gave a small smile before turning and starting to walk again.

Arriving at Kenny’s house, Kenny climbed up the old structures of SoDoSoPa Town and motioned for the others to follow him. Craig shrugged an followed after helping Tweek to make sure he didn’t trip on any of the damaged flooring. Kyle pulled out his phone, “are you sure you wanna see this Tweek? I mean won’t it mess you up knowing what has been going on?”

“Stop, ack! sounding so determined that my parents are drugging me!! I just, I need to know man, if it’s true than, oh jesus, I guess I’m going to go through withdrawal. Can you die from that, what if I start hallucinating? What if my anxiety gets worse, my parents always say that the coffee is to treat my anxiety?” Tweek started to pull at his hair again.

Craig rubbed his arm up and down, “let’s just see if it’s true first.”

Kenny nodded and pulled something out of his bag, “we got a little bit of a wait you guys wanna play go fish?”

After three rounds of Go Fish and half a game of BS Mr. Tweak’s car finally appeared, he had a wad of cash in his hand that he counted before placing it in his pocket and knocking two times fast and then paused before doing two slower knocks. “You got the money?” A voice asked from behind the door.

Mr. Tweak said in his normally chipper voice, “as always, sixty bucks in cash, do you have the secret ingredient prepared yet?”

“Yeah, we just made a new batch of meth… I mean secret ingredient this morning. Come in, before someone sees us.” The door shot open and Mr. Tweak stepped inside before it shut.

Tweek’s shaking stopped, he didn’t twitch… he didn’t speak he just froze. Craig grabbed his hand, “are you okay honey?”

Tweek didn’t respond, Stan poked him… Tweek didn’t even flinch, “I think we broke Tweek guys.”

Kyle, “shit, I didn’t think you could break a person like this, what are we going to do now?”

Craig glared at them, “you guys are doing nothing. We’re going home, don’t follow us, don’t message us.” Craig than picked Tweek up bridal style and left the three to figure out what just happened.


	4. Chapter Three: Dude, where’s my car?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (This is kind of a cheap excuse of a chapter but I wanted to get the boys meeting up out of the way.)

Stan stared at Wendy in the doorway, “were you on the phone with Kyle?” she closed the door behind her and kept her distance, “is he going to be representing your side? You have a drinking problem Stan, you can’t watch two kids alone in this state.”

Stan was confused, what was she talking about… he already assumed he had a drinking problem but why would she assume he would be watching the twins alone, was she going on a trip. “What are you talking about we are both watching the kids?”

She scoffed, “I don’t think I want you to have any custody of them, this whole thing is already confusing for them, I don’t want you to be there to make it any harder.”

With that he watched as she grabbed a bag from the closet, “I’m staying at Bebe’s hotel for tonight, we are having an emergency girl’s night so don’t call unless you need me. The kids already know that I’s staying with there godmother so don’t worry about having to tell them.” And with that she was gone.

Stan just stood there lost on what he was supposed to do. He tried calling Kyle back but he didn’t pick up so he dialed the next best thing, “Kenny I’m so fucking lost right noe.”

“You’re telling me, I’m rotating the tires on someone’s car. I’ve had to rewatch the youtube video six times but I think I finally got it down.” Kenny sounded out of breath as he spoke. “What happened to you?”  
“I don’t know I was just standing here and then Wendy, who I’m apparently married to, tells me that she is taking the kids because I’m not good enough to raise them and then grabs a suitcase. I have no clue what is going on” Stan rushes out.

Kenny lets out a harsh laugh, “ha, you win on suck-y-est position right now, you’re getting a divorce with Wendy dude. You too probably didn’t click like she wanted to or something. I don’t know why adults get divorced; I’ve never been divorced. If you want, you can head over here I’m going to go find Cartman soon. Turns out this car belongs to him so he should be here any minute. Dude the car by the way is like a blue Prius, never saw him as the environmentally friendly type ya’ know.”

“The only time he seemed to be good to the world was when he and Heidi were dating, maybe they got together or something.” Stan thought aloud.

Kenny started laughing, “dude, do you think she’s all fat and ugly again? I hope she isn’t still a huge asshole like she ended up being the first time.”

Stan snickered, “let’s hope not dude, the world already has enough Cartman in it,”

Kenny smirked, “true that, now are you headed over here, I think my shift is over since some other guy just walked in in the same grey button up and jeans?”

Stan shrugged, “sure dude just send me the address or the name of the place and head over I wanna shower first, I look like ass right now.”

Kenny just responded, “chill see you soon dude.”

Stan gave a quick goodbye before heading for the bathroom. He hoped that they would get out of here soon the last thing he wanted was to ruin his future life.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cartman found himself at some fancy looking Italian place, in front of him sat a huge plate of alfredo fettuccine with lobster in it and he dug in. Future him’s life was sweet he had like six different credit cards and a huge wad of cash on him. As he finished digging in he got a call from Heidi. That’s weird they broke up like months ago and Heidi hasn’t talked to him since. “Hello?”

“Hey sweetie, have you gotten my car back yet? I need to head out soon, Wendy is having an emergency and she called all the girls to help.”

“Ah… no.” he responded confused about the fact that he just got called sweetie by his ex and that apparently, he had her car right now.

“You did go get it fixed right Eric? I swear if you didn’t” Heidi started to sound terrifying.

“I did, it’s being fixed right now, I’ll go get it soon. Okay, calm down” he bullshitted hoping to make her shut up.

“Good then I expect my car back soon, by the time I’m packed and ready to go to Bebe’s hotel I want to see my car in the driveway.” And after that she hung up.

Jeez, were they dating again because if so that means his girlfriend is a total bitch. He sighed and paid the check before grabbing his coat and looking up the closest auto repair shop. Lucky for him there was one in walking distance and by that he meant around the corner. No way was he going to walk longer than that, too much exercise sucks. Walking into the store he saw two dudes chatting that looked familiar. “There you are dude, Stan and I were just talking about how crazy everything is.” The one in the uniform said.

The guy next to him sighed and put his hands in his pocket, “yeah… it sucks here.”

“Totally I just got bitched at by Heidi to pick up her car, I hope we aren’t dating again that’d suck ass.” Cartman responded.

Stan smirked, “I bet your married man, everyone else is settled down.”

Cartman groaned, “ughhh. Don’t you dare jinx me man, that bitch was bad enough when we were dating I can’t imagine what she makes me do if we are married. I might have to kill myself if we are married.”

Kenny laughed, “as long as you don’t break out into song again, I’m fine with that.”

“Fahk yew Keenny” Cartman spat.

Stan’s phone dinged while he was laughing at Cartman stressing out. _Dude being a teacher is so boring all you do is sit and make sure kids aren’t fucking around too much. I’m just glad this is the last period of the day. I’m ready to get out of here. _Stan smiled, **that’s a mood man. Cartman just showed up dude, he’s like in a suit and shit… but he drives a Prius like a pussy. **Kyle responded quickly, _hah, fatass probably gets pushed around by Heidi so much… good she doesn’t deserve to deal with that asshat._

Cartman interrupted him, “dude are you texting Kahl, what’d he say?”

Stan looked up and smirked, “that Heidi probably has you on a tight leash.”

Cartman rolled his eye, “Fahk Kahl, I bet she’s my bitch, all desperate an shit to make me happy.”

Kenny fake gagged, “dude gross, I don’t wanna picture you having sex with anyone.”

Cartman had a huge smirk on his face and was about to say something before his phone went off. “Hello?”

“Eric, where are you? Where is the car? It should be back by now, I need to get to Wendy’s I swear if you don’t get back here in three minutes I’m going to leave you high and dry for a month, this is important!!! No girls behind!” Heidi screamed through the phone.

Cartman cringed before responding, “I’ll be back home soon, don’t sweat it… geez.”

“THREE MINUTES ERIC, NO MORE.” Heidi said in such a stern voice that it almost sounded like she was going to go through the phone and kill him before she just hung up.

Kenny made a whip sound before tossing him the keys, “hope you know how to drive man.”

Cartman struggled to catch the keys before stammering, “Wha-what I can’t go alone, that bitch is gonna kill me. You two come with me, I gotta survive this shit man.”


	5. Chapter Five: Let’s Meet the Kids

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OMG I suck at updating, work and school got me McStrugglin TM. This next chapter is to introduce Butter's and I'm so excited for him, he is such a cute innocent cinnamon roll and I love him.

Happily, Cartman didn’t have to drive, his car had a program that drove for him, Stan was skeptical and Kenny thought it was cool. On arrival they saw a very annoyed looking women, her honey blonde hair held back in a bun while a pink and white headband held her bangs back. She wore a red blouse and grey jeans. Her brown eyes looked like they were about to slaughter Cartman when she started walking up to the car Cartman thought about running but was too late as she threw the door open, “did you hear about what your son did?!”

Cartman stutter-ed, “eh, umm, n-no. What did he do?”

Heidi rolled her eyes, “of course the school didn’t call you,” she sighed and crossed her arms, “he got detention for picking on the Tucker kids, he hit their son, Tweek thinks he has a broken nose, if he has a broken nose… I swear,” she looked like she was about to wring his neck but then she noticed the others there, “you are going over there with Eddy and apologizing today.”

Cartman was way lost but thought it best to just agree, “yeah… sure… babe?”

Heidi smiled at that, “good, now hurry up, everyone is probably at the hotel and I have to get drinks still.”

Cartman and the guys got out and Heidi just waved at them before throwing her bag in the passenger seat and backing out. Kyle eventually showed up saying how exhausted he was, kids were a handful, Cartman laughed at his low paying job to which Kyle wanted to scream but just gave up and weakly said, “shut up, fatass”

“I’m not fat! I’m just big boned!” Cartman shouted while Stan tried examining Kyle’s face to make sure he was okay.

Kenny just rolled his eyes and walked inside the house; the others followed after Cartman noted how you shouldn’t just walk into a man’s house dude it’s not kewl. Kenny just shrugged and went to the kitchen to raid his food, rotating the tires on someone’s car can be exhausting especially when its your first time doing so. The others sat in the living room, Cartman in a recliner and Stan and Kyle on the couch, “so anyone have an idea on how we get back?” Stan asked.

Cartman just shrugged, “why go back? Life is pretty sweet here; I get to boss people around and eat all the fancy food I want. I’m living in luxury.”

Kyle got annoyed at that and was about to shout but the front door swung open and four boys stood there. “Sup dad, what are you doing here?” said a boy with messy blonde hair and wearing an orange hoodie and jeans.

This kid must belong to Kenny he looked a lot like him growing up, just in different clothes and his teeth didn’t have the signature gap between them. A boy with black hair spoke before he could finish, “he’s probably having guys night because my mom is ditching him.”

The shortest of them all spoke up, “well, gee, I didn’t know Mrs. Wendy was breaking up with your dad… maybe we could help cheer them up!” the boy was smiling wide at the idea.

The last one was taller than the others and he was kinda chubby, he wore a red hoodie over a white shirt, “nah, the only thing that makes Stan happy is a bottle of booze and Kyle’s hole.” The black haired boy punched him in the arm for that.

Kyle’s face went red and was about to shout when Cartman threw out a laugh, “nice one!”

Stan recognized the black haired boy from the photos on his phone, “Wendel what are you doing here?”

The black haired-boy, Wendel, shrugged, “just chillin’, the Cartman’s have the best pool in South Park so we’re going swimming.”

Kyle looked confused at that, “it’s like in the twenties, you’ll be freezing.”

The chubby boy, Cartman’s son Eddy, rolled his eyes “that’s the point we bet on how long Milo could stay in the water, I said an hour but Lenny says he’s gonna get out after ten minutes.”

Milo seemed worried, “well gee fellas, I’m not certain we should do this if Mr. Brofloski thinks it’s dangerous.”

Eddy rolled his eyes, “Kyle thinks everythings dangerous that’s why Bebe left him when he was in high school, he’s a pussy… now come on, let’s get this over with I have so many ideas of what I want to do with Lenny’s money.”

Eddy pushed Milo out of the room as fast as he could and the others followed them out. Kyle was the first to speak, “seems like douchbag is an inheritable trait.”

Stan and Kenny laughed at that for a bit while Cartman muttered something about stupid Jews. They sat there for maybe ten minutes when several rushed knocks came from the front door. None of the guys moved, until Kenny rolled his eyes and answered the door, in front of him stood an average height male with blond hair and shaved sides. He wore a powder blue button up and jeans but what made him easily identifiable was the scar over his left eye, “hey Ken, have you seen Milo, Oh hamburgers he should’ve been at the shop already and he isn’t picking up his phone… and I was thinkin’ if he was like me as a kid Eddy would convince him to do somethin’ silly… ya know?”

Kenny nodded, “yeah Milo is out swimming with the other kids”

Butters smiled and gave him a hug, “thanks Ken, I’m gonna go get him real quick.”

With that he pushed past Kenny and rushed to the backyard. Kenny watched him go and just stood there, wow he hadn’t changed at all. He was still kind, and spoke in that cute innocent way he always did… it was nice that something stayed the same in the future. Cartman coughed catching Kenny’s attention, “dude snap out of the closet and close the door, it’s freezing out.”

Kenny shut the door and was headed back to his seat when Butters came back in holding the hand of a shivering kid followed by Lenny who was staring at the back of Milo’s head. Butters let go of his hand, “you and Lenny go sit in the car okay, the heat should be on so you can both get toasty after this adventure.”

The boys nodded and headed to the car while Butters walked up to Kenny and kissed his cheek, “did you want me to pick you up once you’re done with guys night?”

Kenny stood there shocked uncertain of what he was supposed to say. He snapped out of it when Cartman groaned and whispered that the town was full of fags, “sure, I’ll text you when”

Butters smiled and gave him a big hug, “great I’m making the aloha quesadillas we had in Hawaii last spring, Milo has been asking for them for a while now.”

Kenny smiled he remembered his first time to Hawaii with Butters and can still remember how awesome the food was. “sounds cool, can’t wait to try them.”

Butters smiled, “you’re gonna love them, I found this recipe for a peach salsa that I think will go great with it.”

Kenny was trying to think of what to say next, he was still in shock, Butters had just kissed him and there were kids out in the car that he assumed belonged to him. “uh… yeah, sounds great.”

Butters gave him one last hug goodbye, before turning and standing shocked, “Kyle??? Well gee, I didn’t think you’d ever be here again. You sure you wanna stay here, I’m offerin’ an out? No offense Eric, it’s just well… ya’ know. You can be kind of a meanie butt sometimes. You can come over to Tweek’s with me tonight, I’m gonna help him design the winter café design. The kids are gonna make snowflakes, it’s gonna be so much fun.”

Kyle rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m good Butter’s, tell Tweek I say hi, he seemed pressured earlier.”

Butters smiled, “you didn’t hear? Well hamburgers Ken, you gotta tell your friends this stuff, He got a call for a wedding this mornin’ Trish and Karen are finally settlin’ down he’s makin’ the cake and helpin’ Clyde make the food. Clyde’s doin’ the meat stuff since Tweek is still vegetarian and gets queasy near it no thanks to Mr. Meanie-Pants over there who tramatized the poor dude, I’m surprised he let’s Craig eat steak still. Good for im’ it’d be pretty tough to give up bacon, that stuffs so good… oops sorry Kyle, but chicken is also good an you eat that.”

Kenny smiled, Karen got together with Craig’s little sister, he wondered how different her life was now. Was she happy, she must have been in her twenties, did she still live with mom and dad? He hoped she was happy, marriage was pretty chill by the look of his naked hands it seemed like he wasn’t settled down. Kyle must have said something in return because Butter’s was smiling, “I should be headin’ out, I’ll see you all on Sunday, oh Ken before I forget Tams called and wants you to call her.”

Kenny nodded at that, “sure Butter’s.”

Butter’s paused at that seeming confused but ended up just smiling and heading out after one last goodbye.


	6. Isn't Having Methheads For Parents Super

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeez, school has got me struggling to write but here ya' go. 
> 
> just in case: contains kidnapping kinda, drugs, and harsh language.

The basketball game was going really well, Tweek had freaked at first when he saw everyone staring at him but calmed down when Craig and Wendy spoke to him. He was pretty great, made a few mistakes but given that he only had an hour to learn everything he looked awesome. Red and Nichole already played basketball together outside school so they new how to play strategically making up for the boys’ speed. Stan had been right when he told Kyle playing was pretty much muscle memory and he even scored a few baskets. It went so well at first, South Park had one the game and people were cheering and getting ready to leave when they appeared in the doorway. Tweek froze, not certain what to do and the girls seemed to notice that he wasn’t doing the final cheer they taught him, Craig was trying to push past people but everyone was too excited about the win to get out of his way in time. The girls watched as Tweek’s mother spoke calmly, “come sweetie, we have to get out of here, we are going to go see your grandfather for a little bit.”

Tweek stuttered, “n-no, I ack- I don’t wanna go visit him…”

His father just smiled at him and put a hand on his shoulder, “well sadly you don’t have a choice, now come on.”

His mother just picked him up and started walking to the door, he tried kicking to fight her and get down but to no luck.

Craig finally got through and down to the gym floor as they left the room. He swore, running out the gym doors only to see no one in the hall. He was gone… and with those two methheads. Mysterion was by the entrance and was looking at Craig, “I’m too late aren’t I?”

Craig groaned and started walking towards the exit, “nope, I heard where they are going and you are gonna help me save him.”

Not like he had much of a choice, Craig gripped Mysterion by the front of his shirt and pulled him out the front and watched as a car pulled away carrying the one person he actually cared for. Soon cop cars appeared, “did you do this?” Craig asked.

Mysterion rolled his eyes, “I hinted at the drug business here in South Park and brought them a cup to analyze… I expected them to be better at this.”

Craig sighed, “never expect anyone in South Park to be decent at their job.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Tweek was freaking out his parents had forced him into the car and buckled him in with a friggin’ lock. Who locks their kids to the seat, that can’t be safe, what if they crash and he cant get out in time and the car explodes with it in him… Oh jeez, what if that’s their plan, to kill him, maybe that’s why they gave him so much coffee to overdose him on. Tweek had started pulling on his hair. “Ack- wh-what if grandpa isn’t ready for us to come over, and he gets super angry that you didn’t warn him.” Tweek tried pushing on his seatbelt to see if he could slide out.

His mom took his hands in hers and held them lightly, “now sweetie, we called him so don’t you worry, now stop moving around, here we brought some coffee with us. I haven’t seen you have a cup since this morning.”

Tweek froze and stared at the cup, “NO…no no no… no coffee, I don’t want any!”

His father looked at him in the mirror and addressed him in his fake happy tone, “now son, the coffee is good for you, it helps calm your nerves.”

His mom tried handing him the large thermos, “here Tweek just take a sip.”

Tweek pushed the thermos away from him and watched as it spilt on his mother’s hand and into the center console. “No, I don’t want any… I’m tired. I’ll.. I’ll just go to sleep.”

Richard sighed, “now Tweek it’s only nine, a boy your age shouldn’t be exhausted at this time, don’t boys your age stay up till midnight? I remember when I was around your age, I used to play soccer and practice didn’t end till seven thirty. Then I met your mom and I dropped out of sports to spend time with her.”

Tweek groaned, “what does that- ack- have to do with sleep?!”

His father just shrugged and continued driving, his mother smiled at him, “why not pull over Richard, I’ll go sit in the back with Tweek and help him drink something. I don’t want him to be too anxious once we get there you know how your father gets.”

Richard smiled, “I suppose so, they haven’t caught up to us yet anyway.”

Tweek stuttered, “WHAT!!! We’re being, oh Jesus, we’re being chased!”

Neither parent responded, acting as if he had said nothing, and waited for the car to stop. His mother got into the backseat and grabbed a water bottle and a bag. “I have just the thing to help you sleep.” He watched as she pulled a few pills out and crumbled them into the water bottle.

“What, what was that? Did you just put meth in the drink? I didn’t know it came in pill form? I’m so confused- oh jeez.” Tweek said staring at the bottle his mother was shaking.

“Don’t be silly, those were sleepy pills called Zanies.” She smiled as she held his chin. “drink it up. We have a large car ride.”

Tweek tried fighting it, he didn’t want to be drugged, he just wanted to go back to Craig’s and finish the movie, or play with his legos, or anything other than be surrounded by his family. He eventually had to swallow or he was going to choke, his mother smiled as the bottle slowly emptied.

She pet his hair, “see don’t you feel better, now get some rest, grandpa is going to be so excited to see you.”

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Craig had sent out an emergency Freedom Pals meeting and now sat all the members waiting for The Coon to arrive, “you know what, screw the fatass! Tweek has been kidnapped and the cops aren’t going to do shit so I’m recruiting you guys.”

Kyle, Human Kite, was shocked, “are you sure that’s wise? The cops probably have a search party out right now…”

Clyde, Mosquito, shouted and had tears in his eyes, “Teacup is in danger!?! Oh god, who could want to hurt him, he’s a good guy!”

Token, Tupperware, rubbed Mosquito’s back in the hopes of calming him down, “Kyle is right, how do you know the cops aren’t looking for him right now?”

Super Craig raised an eyebrow, “do you know the South Park police department, they were a part of the cheesing fad here, they beat up homeless people and tend to be really mean towards minorities and imprison based on race a shit ton. I don’t trust those assholes. Now are you going to help me or do I have to do this myself?”

Mosquito raised his hand, “I wanna help, Tweek is one of my best friends.”

Tupperware nodded, “same but we should be wise about how we got about this.”

Soon the whole room was agreeing to join and planning on how to get Tweek back. It wasn’t hard, Tweek’s grandpa lived in Denver which was maybe two hours away so they would have to get someone to drive them all the way there. Stan, Toolshed, spoke up, “let’s just take my car, I know how to drive.” 

Human Kite looked at Toolshed before slapping his arm and whispering, “you’re kid you right now, remember, you don’t have your car.”

Toolshed just rubbed his arm, “I’ll just take my dad’s he’s always fucked up and leaving it places anyways.”

Super Craig smiled, “good now all we have to figure out…” Super Craig was interrupted by a door slamming open.

The Coon stood at the top of the steps with a huge smile on his face, “The Coon has arrived! We can all start saving the day now.”

Human Kite thunked his head on the table and muttered so no one would hear except Toolshed how the dude was too childish to even have a kid, poor Heidi.

Toolshed laughed and Super Craig just rolled his eyes and started heading out, “Mysterion can explain everything to you while we are on the way.” 

The Coon huffed and blocked Super Craig’s way, “who made you boss?”

Super Craig paused and answered simply, “I did.”

The Coon crossed his arms and gagged, “you’re a boring second rate super hero I should be in charge. The only reason you’re a part of this super hero alliance is for the gay fan service.”

Super Craig raised an eyebrow, “you can leave if you want to.”

The Coon got his claws out and scratched Super Craig’s face, gasps of the other members were heard from the table below. Super Craig touched the scar before grabbing Coon by the collar and shouted mega fist punch causing Coon to lose consciousness. Tupperware chimed in, “maybe we should leave Coon out of this rescue mission?” 

Craig nodded his head and dropped Coon letting him roll down the steps, “fine by me.”


End file.
